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Mom (speaking in Chinese): Whatapos;s apos; menopauseapos; in English?
Me: What?
Mom: apos;Menopause.apos;� How do you say that in English?
Me: Oh, I think itapos;s called apos;menopause.apos;� Here, let me write it for you.
Mom: Oh OK.� So whatapos;s that called in men?
Me (all of a sudden becoming unsure if she actually said menopause in Chinese, or if she meant something else): WHAT?
Mom: Well, men have behavioral and biological changes too when they reach that age.� Whatapos;s that called in English?
Me: I have no idea, but itapos;s not called menopause.
Mom: Hmm...OK.� Hey, whatapos;s apos;condomapos; called in English?
Me (not sure what I heard): What?
Mom: I said, whatapos;s condom called in English?
Me (making sure that I heard her right): Um...could you explain what you mean?
Mom: Goodness, someone your age doesnapos;t know what that is?� Itapos;s when you wanna mess around with someone and you put that THING on� You know, it looks like a little baggie?
Me: Oh, you mean for a guy?
Mom:�Yeah.
Me: I think itapos;s called a condom....

I�donapos;t know why she wants to know what condom is called in English, but I think sheapos;s just trying to expand her vocabulary, though I can only think of a few instances in which she would need to use that word.� I wrote apos;menopauseapos; and apos;condomapos; on a scratch piece of paper for her, and I hope nobody else in the house happens to come across it.



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